Monday, 15 October 2007

peel it off, dammit.

i have a confession to make. i take pleasure from some pretty weird things in life. now, before you dream up visions of me tied up and in fluffy handcuffs, allow me to clarify. i like peeling the plastic protective wrapping off, well, just about anything. it probably ranks on round about the same level as busting bubble-wrap, but this ones better i say. there is a strange satisfaction when u feel the plastic peeling off the mobile phone screen or laptop body it was protecting, something that cant be described in words. just the way you hate it when chalk squeaks on a glass board in class, which is a pretty inoccuous thing if you take a detached look at it. thats about as close to an analogue as i can possibly come, though its in an entirely different league and direction altogether. of course, admitting it wasn't pretty easy, because the world and i are at odds regarding our views on this particular breed of plastic. most people dont realize the fact that this was meant to be peeled off. i mean, if hewlett-packard wanted the stuff to stay, they probably would have made it more difficult to peel off. but what to folks do? they dont touch that plastic. like some sort of a strange ritual that would be sacrilegious to break, they let that plastic be. not being designed to stick forever, the plastic starts coming off the edges. at this point, it looks to addicts like me that its begging to be peeled off, and when i, in turn, beg the owner of the particular piece of plastic the honor of peeling it off, i invariably get rejected. what beats me is the fact that people keep that protective plastic till its hanging off the laptop or curled up on a mobile screen, looking ugly, getting in the way of everything, yet somehow in the minds of the owner, 'protecting' whatever it was pasted on.

the saddest part is that after this goes on for months even, after much attempts at sticking it back and much requests on my part to be allowed to peel it off, the stupid thing falls off, and they dont even realize its happened. motherfucking sadists, im usually telling myself at this point. the only things that plastic did in its life was gather dust on its sticky part and curl up ruining the looks on an otherwise beautiful laptop or phone. i mean, its a catch22 right there. most people, whether they admit it or not, buy things giving huge weightage on how the thing looks. and then, in the name of protection, re-sale value and some other loads of bullcrap, keep it covered in hideous contraptions of cheap plastic or latex, never enjoying or flaunting the beauty of whatever it is that they bought. i mean, whats the point in buying a phone worth a good part of my paycheque and then keeping it in a ten rupee latex cover that looks like its a condom tied up? flaunt it, and let me peel the plastic, i say.

but then the world order isnt going to change easy when it comes to protective plastic sheets. i mean, what does a guy like me do in a world of sadists? oh i know what i'll do. guerilla warfare. the plastic revolution is coming. what exactly am i talking about? oh yeah.. nowadays i dont ask the owners their permission. i just walk up and say, 'dude, that's a cool laptop'. and peel it right off, before they even dream it coming. of course, the gratification is a bit accelerated, but turning the sadist tables right back on them sorta makes up for it. the key part of this guerilla maneuver is the getaway. for a successful getaway, hand the plastic back to the stunned owner. the instinctive reaction is to try and stick it back. the impossibility of that takes some time to sink in, ample time for a getaway. oh yeah, there are pre-emptive strikes in this war, too. sometimes when i go to the electronics sections in malls, i conduct large scale attacks on plastic. for all i know, i may be ridding the world of a lot more sadists.

i have no idea why i wrote this, its somehow been botherin me for a while now. and if you just bought a laptop or a phone, you know where to find me.


Mandakini said...

i cannot tell you HOW MUCH this particular piece resonated with me. (i dont know if thts grammatically correct but who cares) the protectors of protective plastic drive me mad!!!! raving mad!!!! so yes "peel it off dammit" is right! loved it!

fulcrum said...

thats grammatically correct but we'll have to double check if its scientifically sound :D .. welcome to the cause, though. we shall overcome :D