how do i explain my music to you? even better, why would i? what is in it for me to explain my kind of music to you, thus providing you with a window into what stirs my soul? i dunno, a desperate need to know that i'm not alone, maybe. to feel that there are people i may yet relate to on this planet, maybe. all this at the risk of sounding emo i agree, but some things need to be said with some passion. so i'll shed my usual high ground of dispassionate humour. and tell you all about devotchka while i'm at it. what do i feel when i listen to devotchka? i could wiggle outta that one by sayin its beyond words, but i wont be a total cunt. but i definitely will sound like one if i tell you i see heaven. risking that nonetheless, i will reaffirm it. what is music if not a rescue vehicle, something that takes you away from all thats bothering you and filling you with hatred? devotchka is the name of my escape ride. everyone has their own, and compared to real ones, mine might compare well with a Volga coupe. obvious russian connections aside, i'll try n explain that a little further. for one, like the car, the band is good. but that is a subjective notion, for the car like the band looks out of place from what you see when you take a glance at the rest of those respective worlds, automotive and music. Both are around today, little clearings in a forest of common-ness, so desperately needed by those seeking shelter from the mundane. and both exotic, both so different that you wonder what they are made of. both stick out like sore thumbs and you wonder why such things are even made today. yet to those who have discovered them, they touch the strings at the very bottom of their hearts, strings you never even suspected the existence of. its like finding someone or something you have been looking for your whole life, and you are beside yourself with relief more than joy, for the joy is only yet to begin. for each new track that i heard, for each new fact i found of the volga, i developed a love for each so great i doubted if anything could top it. could they possibly have made a better track? this one sounds like the best on earth. could there be more i didnt know about the volga? yet more joy when i find that they have indeed made a better track, and that the volga has more to it than i could imagine.
which is a good feeing, since that leaves me without worrying how long the vehicle is going to last. for it fosters in me the hope that there might be other clearings in the musical forest that will shelter me better, when this one finally gets taken over by the undergrowth.
theres more than just escape though. the feeling that u get when you hear music telling out loud the very things you've suspected you've always wanted to say is another level to my musical preferences. most have some poetry lying under the ice, just beneath your hardened mental casing that protects you against the world. just lying in wait to be stroked. it can only be stroked, brute force is not the way to reach there. devotchka for me is the lightest of feathers that can stroke that bit of poetry. it wont make me create more such feathers of poetry but it will make me happy for a few precious moments, allow me to reflect on what i truly am, what i stand for, before returning to reality and its associated maladies.
i feel like an emo crapfuck for havin written all that, but what the hell :)