Showing posts with label aviation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aviation. Show all posts

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Imli candy and a spoilt brat..

Seat 18A was mine, but I wasn't in it. And I was livid. I could see the little brat in my peripheral vision. All of 3 and a half years of age, he had usurped my seat. His tantrum for the window seat had put me in a spot, and I had to give it to him or else I would've ended up looking like an asshole. The flight was full, and there was no other seat free, let alone a window seat. In a rare occurrence, even the business class seats were full on this Indian Airlines flight, so that ruled out the possibility of using the clout associated with my granddad's frequent flyer card to score an upgrade. I had turned up early, checked-in early, asked for a window seat that would give me a decent view of the wing, and then was relegated to a middle seat. I wouldn't have minded an aisle seat so much. The point is, I reminded myself, that a bonafide aerospace nerd like me should never be deprived of a window seat. And this brat had done precisely that. 

Emboldened by his successful tantrum, he was looking for more things to do. His parents in the row ahead of ours did not seem bothered about his welfare one bit, and I was not very surprised. They probably needed a break. These were better days for aviation, and the flight attendant was coming down the aisle with candy for everyone so our ears won't pop on take off. I cannot remember any flight in the past coupla years providing that simple amenity. I was looking forward to the candy. It was tamarind mixed with sugar and formed into two little balls, within a single wrapper. I was never big on sweets, but this was my absolute favourite sweet in the world. I wanted to shamelessly grab a handful, but stuck to my standard practice of picking three from the tray she held out for me. The kid shamelessly picked a handful, and asked her for more. She said "Beta wait five minutes, I'll get some for you". Pfft. 

True to her word, she was back in five minutes and handed the kid an entire bag of candy. An entire bag. That's never happened to me! In my mind, I was a more deserving candidate for this largesse. The flight was going to be an hour long, and stuck in my middle seat with nothing to do, I decided to sleep. The kid had other plans. No sooner did the take off run begin than he started bombarding me with questions about the airplane. Now this presented a dilemma. I resented him for stealing my window seat and eating all the candy, but I can't resist answering (or at least attempting to answer) when people ask me stuff about airplanes. I relented, thinking that if his curiosity is piqued, he might join the ranks of us aviation fanatics once he's older. After all, it happened to me. Sure, he might grow up to be an obnoxious, candy stealing member of our community, but we're a smallish community so we could use his membership to swell our numbers. 

I started answering his questions to the extent I could. Kids sometimes make no sense, so this was no mean feat. He had his own theories about jet engines and I patiently set them straight. By my estimate, somewhere abeam Daman I lost my patience. He had more questions than I could possibly hope to answer. The kid-o-meter swung to resentment again. The sleep I had forfeited to accomplish an eventually fruitless early check-in was now beckoning me, and I was stuck in an endless barrage of infantile curiosity. In a moment of inspiration, I pointed to a cloud far away and asked the kid if he could spot a plane flying parallel to us near the cloud. Kids are kinda stupid, and he spent the rest of the flight looking for a plane that did not exist, while I slept as best as the cramped seats on the lovely but decrepit old double-bogey main landing gear wala A320 would let me. 

This morning, when waiting at the bakery section of the office cafeteria, I was reminded of the kid and this story. There, under the glass showcase that housed the confectionery, were bags full of tamarind candy. I bought an entire bag, marvelling at my re-acquaintance with the candy in the most unlikeliest of places. I hadn't seen these in years now. The kid must be twelve years old or thereabouts now. I hope he's fine, wherever he is. 

Thursday, 28 October 2010

crazy, silly, or downright certifiable..

UPDATE : I've been gifted a model of the very same plane that's pictured at the bottom of this post. It's a sort of a dream come true, because I'd seen it 4 years earlier when i had no money, and wanted to buy it. When i could finally afford it, the shop that had it shut down, and i could find it nowhere. Until a dear friend of mine, Rustom Mazda, found one in Italy and gave it to me as a birthday gift. Friends, like dreams, are awesome :)


those that work with me in the same office know that the website airliners.net is an important part of my day. a hangout for aviation enthusiasts worldwide, its my source for a lot of aerospace knowledge on wide ranging topics, be it technology, business or the latest rumours in the industry. plus the simple pleasure or looking through over a million pictures of airliners. and an occasional source of inspiration, it turns out.

i've jokingly told a lot of people that what i want to do when i retire is to buy a small airplane and live near an airport, so i can take the grandkids out for a spin when they come visit me. for the most part this was a silly pipe dream, and not something i meant in entire seriousness. in fact, there were a few more similar dreams that would fall into the same category. but something happened today, that sorta made me look at them afresh.

on one of the forum threads on airliners.net today, someone posted asking how much it would cost to restore a Lockheed L-1011 Tristar aircraft (a plane i love) to airworthy status to be used as a personal jet to transport all his friends to cool places. now, contrary to appearances, this wasn't posted by a juvenile who hasn't lost all his milk teeth yet, but by a forty eight year old graphic designer from new york. he wanted to paint it in a cool livery of his own design, and wanted to take his friends around, partying in the skies. that was his dream. and he just wanted know his chances of realizing it.
what surprised me were the responses. most of them took the dream reasonably seriously, having had similar dreams themselves. some people were chipping in with aircraft acquisition costs, D-check costs, crew and operational costs etc, while others were giving him more realistic options like smaller planes and charter costs for larger planes. there were also outright naysayers, and some skeptics, which i suppose was to be expected.

but one
post stood out from the rest, and sorta touched me i guess. i thought i'd share it here. it was by a real estate agent in the USA, who is also an aviation nut, and he said :

"You know, it's fun to dream. When I read the posting I just had to smile. Who amongst us in this forum or on this website has not, at one time or another, had the same dream? Or similar? I used to think it would be so cool to acquire the old Regent Air B727 and fly my friends around to parties and all the happening hotspots. (I'm seriously dating myself referring to Regent Air!) There is also that incredible B757 in Dallas that the Mavericks charter to fly their team, and I think it seats only 63 pax. I'd load it up with all my co-workers and fly us to our annual convention in style. Call me crazy, silly or downright certifiable. I'm in my mid-40's now -- my reality is a house that has two mortgages, a 1995 Corolla with 200+K miles and two somewhat ungrateful cats. And yet, yet, everyone once in awhile my mind drifts to my "happy place" where I'm in my private plane at 30,000 feet (or higher), being served Maker's Mark and soda by my model-gorgeous cabin crew and headed off somewhere -- ANYWHERE -- away from my current reality. Don't get me wrong -- my life is not at all bad, in fact it's pretty effing good. Dreams are free. You keep dreaming, buddy. I think your dream is awesome.

Mike"

call me a sucker for having fallen for a few words, but this made my day, and made me look at my dreams afresh. thank heavens for small joys, eh?

Lockheed L-1011 Tristar V2-LEJ , leased by Air India from Caribjet in the late 90's.

Friday, 13 August 2010

On Beethoven and an Airplane..



This is probably a gratuitous post, so bear with me.





The first of the two is 'An Ode to Joy', by Beethoven. Like Fur Elise, this song also sounds immediately familiar even if you've never heard or paid attention to it before. The first time I really paid attention to it was at Aero India 2007. I'm sure you're not really surprised that there is an aviation connection here as well. I was at Yelahanka Air Force Station watching the afternoon round of flying displays. To be frank, i wasn't paying all that much attention to it since i'd already seen most of the flying routines in the morning, as well as on the day before. The American contingent was flying their F-16s and F-18s, which were doing pretty much routine stuff over airfield, and the commentary over the public address system was droning on with nonsense along the likes of "These airplanes have been the defenders of freedom since 1970s", etc. There was one plane i had missed, the Russian MiG-29 OVT, a thrust vectored version of the standard MiG-29, and i was really looking forward to what it had got to show.


The MiG doing its thing.. :)

The MiG's turn came, and the public address system sputtered back into life again, and started playing this tune. This amazing, vaguely familiar classical tune, timed to the aircraft's flying display. That display, to date, was one of the most beautiful things i'd ever seen, thanks in no small part to the music. The song was improbably slow for an airshow, but it was in fact a brilliant choice for a plane that had amazing slow-speed maneuvers to show off, including at one point stopping in mid-air at the start of a tail-slide. The crowd roared in applause for the lone Russian pilot who flew away from there as the star of the day, and the whole episode left the song in my mind. Yet i had no clue what the song was, for the next three and a half years.

I hunted for it high and low, and while people seemed to have heard the tune, no one could tell me its name. I even tried a website where you could hum and based on the tune the search engine would try and find your song. to no avail, though. until about a few months back, i was at a small party with my friends, and was humming this tune to myself when my erstwhile housemate nikhil, again, recognized the tune but couldnt remember its name. But his curiosity got piqued, and eventually he managed to track the song down for me a coupla days after that. I have posted above the version that is used as the national anthem of the European Union. The original i heard had no lyrics. The day after i finally found the song, i was telling my colleague benjamin the story of how long it took me to find it. Turns out i should've told him a long long time ago, since he blurted out the name the moment i hummed the tune. that song was right under my nose, in the next cubicle to mine to be precise, and i spent ages looking everywhere else.

I love the song, and i like the story, so i thought i'd share.



Monday, 19 July 2010

Cheburashka ♥




In Soviet Russia, nostalgia feels you! that didnt quite come out right, but yeah the question isn't too far off. is it possible to feel nostalgia for something you've never known, from somewhere you've never been?

I have been a huge Russophile from probably the age of five. I grew up in a family chock-full of believers in the communist ideology, not least of whom being my mother and my grandfather. We had a subscription for Misha magazine from where i learnt the Russian alphabet. My mother herself took Russian in college, that language being one amongst the many she went on to learn. I had penpals from the soviet union, and the prized stamp in the collection that we inherited was one from the communist East Germany. Thinking back, i owe a lot to my love for all things russian, since it was a boyhood fanaticism for their aircraft that got me started on the aviation road. or airway, rather.

One of the things i do is spot airplanes. And when it comes to that, the rarer the better. If it flies and is weird, i probably know a thing or two about it. I have cherished memories of a long list of strange aircraft sightings, from an Antonov 124 at delhi to an Ilyushin 18 in trivandrum, and all the way back to delhi for a cargo 707 which is a rare thing these days. I would travel miles if i could get to see the An-225, and i would travel back in time if i could to see the Air India Il-62 and L-1011. To be frank, the regular Airbuses and Boeings are kinda boring, to the point that even the paramount Embraers are a relief for me.


Antonov An-74

Cheburashka - Can you see how the nickname came to be?


And what i haven't had the chance to see, I read up about. I have a sizeable database on the weird planes of the world, and keep adding to it on almost a daily basis. Which brought me, a couple of years ago, to a most interesting aircraft, the Antonov-74. I had been looking for an aircraft the russians nicknamed the 747ski (which is actually the Antonov 30), dont ask me why i needed to know that, and i stumbled on this airplane instead. And this, in turn, was nicknamed 'Cheburashka', apparently after the Soviet animated character it resembled.

So, wiki-fan that i am, i immediately went on the Cheburashka page, to look it up. Airplanes were soon forgotten (i remembered the 747ski again only months later), and i couldn't get enough of this little chap. Pictures were downloaded, links were opened, youtube videos were watched, and torrents were downloaded. it didnt even disappoint me that i had gotten japanese dubbed versions on torrent, there were very few good torrents in any case. I've watched the video at the top of this post dozens of times now.

And strangely, it felt nostalgic. It felt like i had seen it before, a long long time ago. I know for a fact that i haven't, yet it seemed to fit so seamlessly with my memories from childhood that i was amazed.. i'd say yeah, it IS possible to feel nostalgia for something you've never known. It took me two whole years, but i finally got around to writing this and sharing it here.. Take a look at the video, and if you couldn't love Cheburashka, your friendship contract is probably up for renewal :P

PS - if you do like it, especially the song, i can send it over. or come over myself and sing it. and then hit you on the head non-lethally but severely enough that you wont remember my bad singing. whichever.

Monday, 24 May 2010

Plane crashes and the ensuing danse macabre..

this has been a bit of a bad year for aviation. the AF447 crash in the atlantic, the yemenia crash off the coast of moroni, the turkish airlines crash at amsterdam schiphol, the afriqiyah airlines crash at tripoli and now the air india express crash in mangalore. each of these crashes led to extensive reporting by the media, as they well should be covered. but somehow when it comes to aviation, the media never seem to get even the basic facts right. this, in turn, means the general public never get to know the facts about these accidents. all they get are some twisted half truths which further propel the aviation related myths that are already existent in their minds. whenever i see these reports, i am usually reminded of something i read in the outlook magazine long back, in the diaries section that they used to publish on the last page. it was a story about a reporter who was rushing to cover a mig-21 crash that happened near palam airport, and even before he reached the site he was relaying back 'facts' to his publication, making outrageous claims that there were 30 people on the aircraft. i would think that pretty much everyone knows that a fighter plane cannot carry more than 2 people, 3 in some cases. and turns out the journo's cabbie corrected him and told him that very same fact.

even though these journalistic lapses are generally annoying, the fact that so many crashes happened this year meant that the annoyance has been slowly creeping within me and taking the form of full blown anger. and the reporting by indian media in the aftermath of the air india express crash was the last straw that broke the camel's back. do they even think before they send out these reports? there are some basic journalistic ethics that need to be followed but i guess in these days of sensationalism, those go right out the window, and titles like 'BURNING PLANE' in font size bazillion are what sells. even so, i feel compelled to write this, knowing that this may not make any difference.

the accident : we are all too keen to pass verdict before we know what happened. this has been the case with pretty much every accident, not just air crashes. in india, if two vehicles collide, almost 90% of the time the blame is placed on the bigger vehicle. unless the smaller vehicle did something ridiculously and obvsiously stupid, the smaller vehicle gets away scot free. similar rules are extended to the sky too. the first half-fact is usually treated as the final cause of the accident. in this instance, there are reports which state that the pilot missed his touchdown point on the runway byh 2000 feet. this was immediately labelled as pilot error, and some of todays papers insist that this was the cause of the accident. none of them talk about other possibilities and facts. no one mentions that the actual zone on the runway where he can safely touchdown extends at least a thousand feet, and that even if he missed that by another thousand, he might still have had enough runway left to stop his plane. no one talks of the millions of possibilities that couldve caused the pilot to miss by thousand feet, if at all he did that. i would say that there are a good number of plausible scenarios where the pilot need not have been at fault. yeah alright, truth is boring.

the point here is this, avoid speculation. its stupid, it propagates unnecessary lies, and i personally think that its disrespectful to the people involved. these crashes are a reminder to us of the dangers inherent in aviation, no matter how much we've tried to mitigate them. and people sitting on armchairs on the ground and commenting on the jobs of those who actually face these dangers angers me. to the media, please state the known facts, and please verify them before stating them. if you wish to speculate, do so intelligently, through someone who actually knows a thing or two about not just flying, but air accidents on a whole. the so called aviation experts presented on the tv channels so far are prize chumps and jackasses in my opinion, who are spouting half baked opinions. get credible people, if you wish to discuss this incident, and not someone who would disrespect the dead crew for a few soundbytes.

the airline : air india suffers from what i like to call 'the aeroflot syndrome'. the airline has done a lot of cutting edge stuff over its lifetime, but being a state owned carrier it will always have public perception going against it, especially in terms of safety and service. sure, some of the service points are debatable, and i'll gladly debate that another day in another post, but i see the safety perception as a bit unfair. i wouldnt go out of my way to vouch for their safety, but i will say they are as safe or unsafe as pretty much any other airline in india. their maintenance practices are probably better than average, would be my personal assessment. but note, its only a personal assessment. in any case, some sections of the media making dubious hints at air india maintenance etc would be well advised to stay clear. i mean, what is it with these people? cant they wait at least for the interim report of the accident investigation? and if you look at the air crashes the past year, it includes a first rate carrier like Air France, as well as carriers like Yemenia who aren't exactly well known. it includes brand new airliners as well as old ones. what does it all say? nothing. wait for the individual damn investigations to conclude.

the airplane : the 737-800 has had 8 hull loss incidents so far. if you count from the first generation 737, thousands have been built. this one had a line number 2481, and was two years old. what does that mean, again? probably nothing. we dont know YET. there is always a section that comes up with dubious assesments of the aircraft type, sub-type and even manufacturer. the 737 is not unsafe. nor is the a330, which had two crashes in 12 months. hell, even the tu154 that crashed with the polish president on board, which is a soviet era aircraft known to have a bad safety reputation, is acutally quite a safe aircraft since many of its accidents were caused by factors beyond the aircraft or crew. a few were shot down by missiles, one ran into snow ploughs on the runway that atc had failed to clear, and one was in a mid air collision due to atc error. yet even aviation buffs give me a weird look when i tell them i want to fly on a 154. i do not have a deathwish, i insist it is a safe plane. sure, there have been planes with design flaws, but the planes involved in this year's crashes dont have any known serious flaws, and to insinuate otherwise without proof would be irresponsible. even in the case of the fedex cargo md-11 that crashed in narita, this holds true. the md-11 has certain quirks of handling, but i doubt it has been established as a design 'flaw' yet.

the airport : mangalore airport has a bit of a peculiar runway, which is elevated, and has steep runoffs at either end. it is debatable whether there was adequate space in case of a runway overrun. people will second guess the decisions behind making the runway the way it is now, and it is very probable that the runway may have played a part in the accident. probable, not conclusive. but guess what, a sizeable number of airports have such problems. we build airports where we can, not necessarily where we ideally should be. we cannot always build perfect airports, sometimes they have to be built within some constraints. in madeira, portugal, the runway extends out in to sea on huge pillars. this plane would probably have been a goner there too. what does that say? nothing. airports arent perfect, we have to work with what with have. huge runways on plain spaces are probably possible only in deserts. where there is population and terrain around, we adjust and work a little harder. deal with it.

the crew : one of the initial statements i heard on the news was that pilot error was ruled out because the captain had 10000 hours flying experience. sure, but that does not rule out error. it probably does minimize it, but does not rule it out. but ill concede that one since it's at least not disrespectful to the poor chap. then came the news that the pilot is a british national of serbian origin. there have been some two-bit publications making an issue out of foreign pilots working in india. the nationality of the pilot probably had nothing to do with the crash, such generalizations are borderline racist i would say. for example, all russian pilots arent drunk, all chinese pilots arent bad with english, and all spanish traffic controllers aren't atrocious with their accents. some are, but only just as many as you would find in india, england or the united states. in any case, the key is respect. indications of pilot error or not, speculation on their actions is useless at this point when no facts are known. also, i have a bone to pick with the pilot unions who have brought in pilot workload as a factor. the wreck hasnt stopped burning yet, and these hacks are already pushing union agenda. there isn't anything yet to prove pilot workload as a factor, and pilots should be the last ones making such claims before the investigation is complete. at least out of respect for two dead colleagues.

in conclusion : there is never one single cause for aviation accidents. it is always a series of systemic faults and flaws that culminates in an accident. sure, it may have been triggered by something immediate and plausible like pilot error, but there are always systemic underlying causes. in every damn accident. and the reason we have improved aviation safety over the years is because we have studied these over and over again, and imbibed the lessons industry-wide. in country like ours where there have been incidents where aspersions were cast over the findings of investigative proceedings in the past, the media has an important role and opportunity here to bring us some honest investigative journalism. it's always easy to make scapegoats out of pilots, and if the media stupidly plays up half truths, the real truth may get lost in the cacophony. sure, you could call it pilot error, and train all pilots flying to mangalore a few extra hours on the simulator to understand the airport better, but the systemic causes will strike elsewhere in a different form and incident, and claim more innocent lives with it. the focus should be on an honest investigation, and to learn the lessons from its as soon and as effectively as possible.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Commence right turn to heading 240.. no, no, no you idiot, i said 'right'.

The last coupla days were pretty big for me, work wise. After waiting quite a while, my training started on the flight simulator. And boy, has it been fun. I did not realize how much I'd missed a classroom until now, and the competitive atmosphere has been great. Add to it our pilot/instructor who is a Boeing fan, who keeps bashing Airbus and pulling my leg for liking them, it gets even better. I've flown simulators before, including one i helped build, but this has been something else entirely.

For starters, its not a half-game half serious affair anymore. Our pilot is a stickler for rules, as he damn well should be, and following proper procedure for everything has been an eye opener. None of the fun barrel rolls in inappropriate aircraft though, sadly. Our simulator is not a full flight simulator, but comes reasonably close to one. The instruments are all there in some form or the other, though at the moment quite a few are inoperable. The first day, we had theory for most of the class, and then got to take a brief spin on the simulator.

I got to fly copilot for everyone else before my turn came in the end, which was cool because i sat in my seat with my disengaged controls and pretend-flew the plane, breaking in between to help with throttle controls and landing gear. This in turn meant that by the time my turn did come, i was pretty good at controlling the throttle, and so was allowed to fly without a co-pilot. Our pilot has a quirky sense of humour which kept us engaged throughout. When one of the chaps made a slow turn that nearly ended in a stall, he reached for the phone pretending to call his wife to let her know that he was gonna die thanks to the imminent crash on the simulator. He botched the navigation instructions for me which resulted in me turning on to finals pretty high, and then when i opted to wrestle the airplane to the ground instead of going around and ended up with a rather hard landing, he said that our resident aircraft carrier pilot has landed the plane, and that the air hostesses would probably sue me for giving them spinal damage. All in all, good fun.

Whats thrilling me the most is the fact that all that i've read up about planes and flying is being put to better use here, and that i'm being able to match theoretical knowledge with practical ability. I was apprehensive about how i'd end up handling the plane, but todays flight removed all such doubts. On the other hand though, it has shown me exactly how much i need to learn. When i selected TOGA thrust for today's takeoff, one engine (No. 2) failed to spool up. The aircraft began moving forward, so i assumed things were going normally, but once thrust picked up on the functional engine, it began to yaw to the right. I did not immediately understand what was going on and had only begun to scan the instruments when our pilot impressively and immediately issued instructions to throttle back and compensate for yaw with the rudder. He had figured in a fraction of a second which engine was at fault, figured out the corrective measures, and issued relevant crisp instructions in the time i had maybe scanned a third of the instruments (of course, he has 20,000 hours real flying experience, i have zero). I followed the instructions, and we avoided a runway excursion. It was humbling, to say the least.

Things went reasonably smoothly after the second takeoff attempt, though. I maintained airspeed and altitude pretty accurately without copilot help, and unlike yesterday, had a better feel for the controls so was doing a much better job of keeping the aircraft attitude as per his instructions. Airspeed is pretty tough to maintain, and he was pretty lenient on us on the first attempt yesterday. He told me i would've lost my license 30 seconds after takeoff if this were a real plane, since i had long exceeded the recommended speed for the flap setting i had chosen. I corrected that bit today, though. The only (minor) glitch happened when my phone started ringing. I had left it in discreet mode for the first time since i've had it, and it produced a beeping sound when a friend called me while i was piloting the simulator. Since i wasn't familiar with the beep, i assumed i was doing something wrong and the simulator was warning me. So, emulating our pilot, i began a scan of the instruments at the precise moment when instructions were issued for me to turn right. And thanks to the distractions, i commenced a left turn, received an earful, and then commenced a right turn.

I had got a bit overconfident by the end of the flight, and wanted to try out a full instrument approach, but was asked, nay, ordered, to do a visual approach. Thankfully, there was less wrestling than yesterday, and i didnt give my virtual air hostesses any room for complaint, it was a decent landing (even if i say so myself). I did miss my ETA by five minutes though, and in real life, that translated to all of us missing the bus that would take us back to our main office.

I emerged from the simulator adrenaline charged, buzzed and happy. It feels nice to be able to meet goals you set for yourself, and I had been psyching myself that I should do good on this training no matter what. Of course, i should add here that i hope i dont go and botch it in the coming days. Navigation and other tough (for me, at least) subjects lay ahead. I wonder, though.. if i'm this happy in a simulator thats not close to the real thing, how the heck would i feel if i (hopefully) get to fly a real plane? The plane would roll to a stop, doors would open, and i'd go out bouncing all over the tarmac in excitement, probably. Or end up kissing the plane in love and gratitude, or do something equally silly. But so far, i'm ecstatic to hear the words 'excellent flying' from our pilot after i completed my flight. Its just the shot in the arm i needed for a flagging motivation level.
TOGA forever!

PS, I've added wiki links to some of the difficult terms in the article above.

Saturday, 19 September 2009

On Flight..

I was watching a program on the History channel the other day, about the life and work of Burt Rutan, one of my personal heroes. This triggered another trip down the lanes of aircraft history, and I started reading up on the net, yet again, about various airplanes and their makers and their stories. And I realized that they were people who fascinated and inspired entire generations in their quest to make flight safer and accessible for all of us. They put their lives and fortunes on the line to prove to the rest of the world that what it thought was impossible was merely difficult for these guys. And ironically, all their adventures and risks went to making aviation that much more safer an commonplace for us, that chances are that a kid today wont give much thought to it when he looks up in the sky and sees and airplane leave a contrail across it.

I sometimes like to think, naively or not i leave it to you, that I'm a part of a dwindling group of people still fascinated enough by the whole idea of flight that we decided to go and do something about it. But ironically again, my meagre efforts too would go towards making flight a little bit more commonplace, a little bit less fascinating. oh well..

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

How to conduct a mature aerospace related conversation..

The following conversation ensued when two fanboys clashed over their favourite aircraft manufacturer. It demonstrates the extremely mature, civilized and constructive level of communication that helps drive the aerospace industry forward to newer levels of technological excellence. Constructive competition at its best, I would say, and perhaps even an example of a management school case study.


Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:33 PM]:

when u plannin to start on the ship?

L,B [7:33 PM]:
:D
L,B [7:33 PM]:
me donno.
L,B [7:33 PM]:
as yet.
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:33 PM]:
ok
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:34 PM]:
well if its not gonna be too late, ill join in with the as yet undecided aircraft
L,B [7:34 PM]:
oooooooh! the boeing
L,B [7:35 PM]:
;)
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:35 PM]:
over my dead body
L,B [7:35 PM]:
[ heartbroken smiley]

L,B [7:35 PM]:
[airplane smiley]
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:35 PM]:
[airplane smiley] = airbus
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:36 PM]:
[random pointless smiley] = boeing
L,B [7:36 PM]:
i got it first.
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:36 PM]:
thats cos i was typing more..
L,B [7:36 PM]:
i was thinkin faster
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:36 PM]:
B-) = airbus fans ...
[Nerd Smiley] = boeing fans
L,B(IE10) [7:36 PM]:
:S
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:37 PM]:
:D
L,B [7:37 PM]:
:S=airbus users
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:37 PM]:
[enraged smiley] = boeing users
L,B [7:37 PM]:
:) = boeieng users.
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:37 PM]:
beat u to it..
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:37 PM]:
[party smiley] = airbus users
L,B [7:37 PM]:
[snail smiley] =airbus
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:38 PM]:
[trash can smiley] = boeing
L,B [7:38 PM]:
[wilted rose] airbus
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:38 PM]:
:'( boeing crybabies
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:39 PM]:
we should save this conversation as an example of the mature way in which corporate folks communicate with each other.. could be an IIM case study
L,B [7:39 PM]:
the [sun smiley] never shines on airbus
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:39 PM]:
[lightbulb smiley] at least they have good ideas
L,B [7:39 PM]:
run baby run!!!
L,B [7:40 PM]:
boeing impliments them.
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:40 PM]:
nope. and airbus fans have a better grasp of spelling, too
L,B [7:40 PM]:
tis of no matter.
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:41 PM]:
it does show a higher rate of intelligence amongst the average airbus fans, when compared to boeing fans
L,B [7:42 PM]:
oh......run from the matter at hand.....boy......!
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:42 PM]:
what was the matter at hand?
L,B [7:43 PM]:
[wilted rose smiley] airbus
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:43 PM]:
[sheep smiley] boeing is the blacksheep of the aerospace industry.. always comin up with useless stuff
L,B [7:45 PM]:
they use their brains.........not the other end...
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:45 PM]:
well they use their brains for pretty much the same function as the other end.. thats the problem
L,B [7:46 PM]:
airbus doesnt even know the difference.....
L,B [7:46 PM]:
between the two ends...
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:47 PM]:
thats cos they're using both ends correctly.. they dont need to know the difference as long as each is doing its function
L,B [7:48 PM]:
which is the same???
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:48 PM]:
in a sense yes.. they beat the crap outta boeing products either way
L,B [7:50 PM]:
oh! you mean they beat the crap out of both ends either way,
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:51 PM]:
yes, with a minor detail. they beat the crap outta boeing
L,B [7:51 PM]:
while boeing has a different game to play!
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:51 PM]:
yeah, the game called lets-build-an-airplane-that-we-cant-even-get-to-fly
L,B [7:52 PM]:
oh u mean the airbus game-price the plane higher then it can fly!
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:53 PM]:
well, people are paying up, so they must be gettin their money's worth..
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:53 PM]:
they sold more planes than your little tin pot airplane company, y'know..
L,B [7:53 PM]:
its a company thats cheating people for all its worth....
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:54 PM]:
yes, boeing is, i know.
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:54 PM]:
on 07/08/07 they rolled out an empty shell and called it a plane :D
Asokan, Aravind (Design Innovation) [7:54 PM]:
that was cheating


oh who am i kidding. things went rapidly downhill.. one of these days, we're gonna solve our differences in a duel to the death. i have visions of a specially modified a340 for carpet bombing duties over a little village in goa.
the identity of the other fanboy has been protected, btw.

Thursday, 29 January 2009

I know I've been around planes too long when..

There's a thread running on airliners.net about how aviation creeps into the lives of us airplane fanatics..since i qualify for the title of aviation fanatic (in fact, if it were like real education, i'd probably be a triple phd or something on useless airplane facts), i read the thread with what you can imagine to be great glee. People were posting little things that they did in their day to day lives which were a direct effect of their love for aircraft. Like saying roger, when you want to indicate that you understood something. I have a list of my own when it comes to stuff like that, so i thought i might as well write them down.

My biggest offence is to pretend im flying a plane when i ride my bike. To most people, starting up a bike is a reasonably straightforward deal, especially if they have electric start as an option. But for me, it has to be an elaborate affair, as if i were spooling up a jet engine. i turn the key, pull back on the choke, press the starter button, listen to the engine cough to life, imagine its creating a smoke screen behind me like the rolls royce RB211s on a Tristar, wait for the straining sound that the choke makes, pull back on the choke lever pretending its a lever on my cockpit's throttle quadrant, pull the clutch and put it into gear, and then burn through the clutch in the name of feeling the rpms build up, just like it would when a jet spools up. and then im happy.

well not completely happy, cos then i start making estimations for times of arrival, time enroute, alternate routes (since alternate destination like in an airplane is not possible since im gonna be ending up in offce/home at the end of the ride anyway) etc..and when i have to make tight turns or turn around, i hit the throttle just before im aligned straight with the road, just the way i've seen some captains go full thrust a moment before the plane is aligned with the runway centreline. the thrust straightens out the plane as well as the bike, and i get this incredible rush each time it happens, be it on the bike or the plane. oh, and when a im approaching a traffic light that's turning yellow, i mentally call out V1 (the speed beyond which takeoff cannot be rejected) and gun the throttle and zoom through the light, calling 'rotate' once im through.. and when im caught at a red light and if i happen to be right at front, i perform what i call a carrier take off, building up rpms and then letting go, with the tyres skidding and straining to get me up to speed. Oh, and on the rare occasions that i do a wheelie, i call it a high alpha pass.. and then im happy.

of course, the list doesn't end there, far from it. setting right aviation related misconceptions and mistakes, even when my services were unwelcome, is another angle to it. this includes vigorously shaking my head and then making an explanation to my friends when i spot a mistake in a movie. that we are in a theatre does not matter in the least, nor does it matter that they couldn't care two hoots about what i consider to be a sacrilegious mistake. I mean, it may have been practical for the director to show a small regional jet from the outside yet use a twin aisle plane for the interior shot cos its roomier, but i will have none of that. nor will i stand for it when torpedoes are dropped on the ground or when other such stupid things are done.

aircraft recognition is another of these little habits. each time a plane flies above me, i have to crane up and recognize it. its a compulsion. seeing alone will not do. the very least requirement is a recognition of the operator, type and subtype. its not enough that i recognize its a 737, i keep straining my neck and increasing my chances of spondilitis till i figure whether its a 737-700 or 737-800. and if i catch the registration, especially on my visits to places close to the airport, then the day becomes significantly brighter. and if i spot a rare type, like for instance the day i spotted an Antonov 124 at IGI delhi, delirium ensues..sure, i do figure that it gets a bit annoying for those around, considering they dont share the interest, but this is something a lot of us plane nuts have in common.

what i have found most interesting about aicraft lovers is the passion that is shared. to me, it seems a lot more intense than most of the other hobbies and hobbyists i know. i have seen total strangers bond over their common love for aviation, in a way i havent seen much before. its not quite the same as a love for cars, bikes or comic books, but then that's just my opinion. all i know is that i spend two thirds of my waking hours doing thinking about planes, or doing something related to aviation. if i hear the drone of an engine, i look up. if i have to travel, i'll take the longest layovers to spend more time at the airport. i'd do the 50km ride to bangalore airport on the bike just to see off a friend, when im actually seeing the planes. its a passion, its one that keeps me going, and its one that i dont care if those around me don't share it with me.

it's my little world, one where im supersonic, flying on a flightplan that has no destination, only waypoints.

Addendum : I suppose its ironic that two days after i posted this, ive been moved into non aero work. damn you, recession.. :(

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

How to kill time with the Great Circle Mapper

So i was having a slow afternoon. Slow enough that i started playing around on the great circle mapper, which for the uninitiated is this cool web based app that plots the route between two airports along the great circle on the surface of the earth that connects them.

Which is boring to almost all of humanity except aviation geeks who have reached level 9.9 and above, so i decided to start my own fictional airline. Of course, sin
ce im dreaming, i decided to add my own twist to it. All my flights would connect only city pairs that lie along a great circle route that connects them via the north pole, which would make my airline's route map a pretty thing to look at. Which led me to some interesting discoveries. Bombay and Montrose in Colorado, USA, pretty much lie on one such route. So my inaugural flight would connect these two overflying the north pole. yaay, i think.

anadyr, one of the easternmost cities in russia, would connect to melilla in spain. i didnt even know these cities existed, but google maps is an invaluable tool. i was attempting to connect petropavlovsk kamtchatskiy (a place i hope to visit someday) to tenerife (another place i hope to visit someday) but then tweaking the route got me anadyr and melilla, and im sorely tempted to add them to my places to visit list just for the heck of it.

other interesting routes included bangalore to rapid city, usa, and nagasaki to godthab(capital of greenland), and bangkok to roanoke(where my brother is currently), and fairbanks (arpt code FAI) to cairo (CAI). of course, my airline would financially dive bomb in a way that would make the Douglas Dauntless proud, but hey, at least i'd have put more thought into my routes than a certain Mr Mallya :D



Here's the Pretty Route Map. I promise i'll try not to be this bored ever again.

:P

Monday, 1 October 2007

Trippy Trip

This is not the simple story of a straightforward journey from point A to b and B to C. this story is about how fate and a lot of other factors can conspire to make as many obstacles as possible between you and your relatively humble aim of getting back home for xmas. of course, im not totally above blame either. master of planning that i am, i had this all chalked out weeks ago. the grand finale of my plan had me reaching home right on xmas eve, and then a weeks rest at home, followed by new years celebrations in b'lore. but since im not exactly known for executing my master plans, this one was doomed from the start too i guess. of course, telling y'all how my own fuckups prevented me from reachin home is no fun, really. its more fun putting blame on the rest of the factors... like my ticket for instance. at first look, a harmless piece of paper. but with such great potential for hiding amongst my worldly possessions that it would put a leftist guerilla to shame. or that security guard manning the x-ray machine. now there's a story for ya. i have a hunting kinfe, a rather cool one at that, on which i spent a good portion of my first ever paycheque. i carry it with me wherever i can, more as a good luck charm than with intent to attack. anwyay, i know for sure i am allowed to carry knives in my check in baggage, so i kept it there. and i got stopped by security. he asked me 'are you carrying a knife?' and im like, 'duh, you're the one with the x-ray machine'. no wait, i didnt really say that, but i guess the expression on my face did. lookin at the image on his screen, he says, 'that looks like a rambo knife...' i give him a patient smile, the sort your dad gives you when you point out the new dent he made on his car or something.. and then he drops the bombshell 'take it out, i wanna take a look'. i give him my best 'are you off your rocker?' look, to no avail.

now there is a universal rule regarding travelling students. if the direction of travel is towards college, the bag is full of clean clothes, and if the journey is homeward bound, the bag is full of laundry. unfortunately, i was homeward bound. and my laundry is notorious. well, too bad, cant be helped. i was hoping that he'd be hit by the realisation that opening my bags is not in the best interests of the airport but then he seemed not to notice.. well the one who did notice was the cute girl(funny, how they turn up at the worst possible times) in line behind me, and she turned away in disgust when, in the futile search for the knife, my entire fleet of underwear came out on parade. and this was all unnecessary, since the knife finally turned up in the outer pocket of the bag. and the security chap looks at it, shows it to his colleague and exclaims 'this is just like rambo's knife!'. in a different context, i woulda taken that as a compliment, but with 50 people glaring behind me in line, and my laundry stinking up the whole place, and faced with the prospect of packing all over again, i nearly snapped. but i didnt, cos he was the guy with the gun, and even my super awesome knife stood no chance before an Automatic Kalashnikov No47.

was it to be the end of my woes? no sirree, no. i was cheered up for a bit when, just about to board the bus that took us to the aircraft, i noticed that it was one of those new livery Indian aircraft. i was kicked. wow, in flight entertainment and all, man! the first sign that something was wrong came when i noticed the double bogey landing gear. now every aircraft buff(ok im narrowing my target audience a bit here, sue me) knows that those are seen only on the older A320s of Indian. the next sign that something was wrong came when i reached the aircraft.. the white paint looked blotchy, like your teeth when u dont brush for five days. by then it was clear, it was old wine in new livery. and as luck would have it, i was seated right next to the emergency exit. good in case of an emergency, but bad otherwise, as in the older indian aircraft, this is the noisiest seat u could ask for.. so all hopes of sleeping till bombay were shot.

and bombay was a different sort of hell altogether. as soon as i reached the departure terminal (1A) i was greeted with a board that said that due to fog in delhi (funny these delhi-ites, always out to influence the rest) all flights originating there have been delayed. mine was one of them. of course i was kicked initially. being stranded at bombay airport is a planehead's dream come true. sit on one of those nice reclined seats and watch airplane after airplane take off.. wait did i say seats? i must have, but i sure dont remember seeing any. the place was full of people waiting for delayed flights, and every last seat was taken. and i couldnt see many aircraft since i could go nowhere in front of the windows, which were already crowded with people. and im not exactly 6 feet tall. of couse, something had to be done. i pestered the airline people who gave me free snacks, lunch, drinks... everything except entry to their lounge, which was apparently packed as well. so i put my bags on a trolley, and sat down on it. and grew into it. it was so comfortable that i actually fell asleep on it. of course, the nice five star lunch in my tummy added to my sleepiness, but i slept like a baby for two hours on my baggage trolley. and woke up when i sensed i was moving. some damn kid, all of four years or so, decided it would be amusing to push me on my trolley. i didnt fint it one bit amusing to be woken up from my slumber, but apparently his mom agreed with him cos she wasnt doing anything to stop him. anyway, i woke to a nice surprise since i saw a fleet of baggage trolleys with people sleeping in them.

i took my trolley and steered it as far away from all kids in range, and went to sleep again only to discover i had run out of sleep. i woke up four times in fifteen minutes, and decided it wasnt worth the effort any more. so i decided to pester the airline people once again to see if i could get another free meal. so i walked across to the duty manager's office only to find out that my flight was arriving in half an hour, and he seemed rather relieved and a tad happy to refuse me the meal. i turned around and marched towards my bags, and was promptly stopped by a security chap who said 'aap nahi jaa sakte'. in minutes it was known that the secutiry had located your friendly neighbourhood 'suspicious looking bag' and the bomb squad had been called in. i had reason to panic, i tell you. my bags were lying around, and considering my day's luck, there was a good chance some bomb squad guys were holding up my laundry in a press conference for all to see, alleging biochemical attacks by foreign powers. thankfully i could make out my bags lying untouched on the other side of the melee. the scene soon got interesting with one guy in one of those space suit type outfits for protection started defusing the 'bomb'. right from the start i was unimpressed with the guy. i mean, the suit and all were cool, but how can you trust your life in the hands of a guy who kept makin one helluva racket by bumping into his own equipment trolley, which ironically contained equipment that included wireless microphones that helps him defuse the bomb by avoiding any noise that might set it off? perhaps he had a fair idea that he was, yet again, gonna end up pickin out some hapless chap's laundry from the same ol' bag found under the same ol' suspicious circumstances. if on the other hand the picked this very day for a practise drill, then i must congratulate the indian secutiry forces. not for their timing or efficiency or vigilance, but for the sheer nerve to have chosen this very day when all flights were delayed, when every nerve in the terminal was frayed, and when there was a serious posibility of irateness of the average passenger turning into violence. it might make for ideal training condiions, but i'd rather NOT have the extra delay of someone learning his trade after i'd been sleeping on baggage trolleys all day.

either way, i had a suspected bomb between me and my flight, and i was losing patience. finally when they did figure out that unwashed clothes dont explode (mine excluded) we were all allowed to move towards the gates to board. on my way there, i passed the bomb squad chaps and there was a small crowd shaking the hand of the space suit guy. i decided i might as well do that since i've never met a bomb disposal technician ever, and since his dangerous job could use a bit of cheer. i approached the chap, shook his hand, spoke to him, looked at his name tag...... and he was A GODDAMN MALLU! i've heard the joke that when neil armstrong landed on the moon, there was a mallu there with a tea shop already, but this was the absolute. even the guy defusing bombs in bombay is a mallu. i didnt realy know how to feel about that, but in retrospect i dont think i was all that surprised. I suppose i wont resent those mallu jokes again. i'll happily werk in the gelf for meney.